a s f i x i a d o

Friday, September 30, 2005

The past week has been pure madness. Drank abit too much at KL Zouk which caused me to puke for the next 2 days & up til nw, my tummy isn't too good n i dun have any appetite at all. Its been 1 whole week for goodness sake. Its funny how i dun seem to be losing any weight though. In fact i feel damn fat & bloated. It din help dat a few hours after bingeing on Vodka, i had to drag myself to watch MotoGP at Sepang and the sun that day was horrid! Rossi came in 2nd btw. I still love him though. Haha.
Back to work, there were 3 seminars this week. It was crazy. Im glad its friday today. And i've checked and im gg Macau wif all my darlings. YAY! I rilly wanted to go Dubai but i decided that i'd rather choose the company i'll be wif over the destination so im happy with it.
And for some of you who noes wat happened, yup, 4 over yrs and its finally over. Im pretty relieved. I need to reorganise my whole life again but im guessing its for the better. Now i'll live for myself. And i can club on weekends! No more restrictions. Good.

Asphyxiated at at 11:46 AM

Friday, September 23, 2005

Asphyxiated at at 12:21 PM

Things took a turn for the worse yesterdae after lunch cos Lawrence came back. He caught me surfing the net & some busy-body ratted on me being late. You go figure how unhappy he was la. It doesn't help that if i go according to plans, i will miss work on monday & he is sure to blow cos next week is absolute madness. I noe attachment is ending but i wanna avoid conflicts cos i take direct orders from him n he can give me a rilly bad appraisal at the end of it all -sigh-
I may have some change of plans 2moro. Instead of following the 220 ppl down to KL, i may just tong-pang from someone else. This way, i wun have to squeeze wif 10 other ppl in the van, i can go for my classroom session & i have more time to pack and sleep. Its so much more practical but some people just dun geddit. How unreasonable & unthoughtful can u get. Im in the fucking right mind to return to Singapore on Sunday so i can go work on monday n see less of your face. Gosh!
But i do hope the weekend turns out fine cos im not exactly having the best time of my life yesterdae & today.

Asphyxiated at at 10:06 AM

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I was early for work today. Its been a long long time since i was early/on time for work. Lawrence wun be ard today as well cos he is at the exhibition. Thank goodness i din go down. I can surf the net for the entire day again!
A little cheesed of yesterdae after work. But nvm. I met some peeps who never fail to brighten my day. Dan- make up ur mind who's side you are on & thx for sending me home! And Mel- thx for the polaroid picture & i wun b seeing you this Sunday cos i will be in KL! Not forgetting the biatch who asked me to 'fuck off' & ordered the wrong drink for me- Thank You hor!

Asphyxiated at at 9:50 AM

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Its funny how i can dig up my old CDs and just listen to them non-stop at home. I can't find my Guns & Roses CD so i settled for Bon Jovi.

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Asphyxiated at at 2:50 PM

YOU'VE GOT A WAY
You've got a way with me
Somehow you got me to believe
In everything that I could be
I've gotta say - you really got a way
You've got a way it seems
You gave me faith to find my dreams
You'll never know just what that means
Can't you see... you got a way with me
It's in the way you want me
It's in the way you hold me
The way you show me just what love's made of
It's in the way we make love
You've got a way with words
You get me smiling even when it hurts
There's no way to measure what your love is worth
I can't believe the way you get through to me
Oh how I adore you
Like no one before you
I love you just the way you are
It's just the way you are

Asphyxiated at at 2:45 PM

It has been a good day so far. Reached office late but Lawrence wasn't ard so its all good. In fact, its after lunch time now & he still isn't around. Hooray! The only ppl ard in the morning were Wilson & Pauly but now, im the only one in the division. I have no idea where they went. Haha. Spent the entire morning surfing the net & blogging.
I think im smoking way too much. Its killing my bank account & wen the price hits $15 per pack, its not gonna b funny i swear. I hate my desk now. Kok Hui installed something under my desk to put my keyboard wen i was gone during lunch & he was so proud of it, thinking i would be happy but i dun like it! It restricts my leg movements. Haha. I can't cross my legs and put them on my chair anymore. But i shall not complain. Im sure they meant well. That piece of offending plastic seems so useless now cos i put my keyboard on the desk again. Lolx. Better put it back down when Jo or Kok Hui comes down.
Can you tell im bored? *YAWNz* 2 more days... den im off to KL. There are shitloads of seminars next week and i wun b ard on Monday cos i'll still be in KL. Lawrence is sure to be pissed cos he can't handle them on his own. He wanted me to go to Suntec to watch our booth for the RITE exhibition but i declined cos i din noe if he would be there wif me. No way im gonna be stuck in Suntec wif him. I'd rather stay in the office on my own.. Like now! There's Kailing to lunch & smoke wif me somemore.
I had serious lack of slp last nite & i ate way too much b4 that. But im surprisingly in quite a good mood today. Therefore i conclude that the only reason i hate work so much is because of Lawrence.

Asphyxiated at at 1:59 PM

Yes im bored once again. This is from jerm's blog as well. Here goes..

Favourites
Colour[s]: Blue
Food: Literally everything
Subjects In School: English, Lit
Animals: Dogs
Sports: Tennis, swimming
Perfume: No fave. Prob Gucci Rush 2
Cologne: Hugo Boss.. reminds me of someone..
Have you ever
Given anyone a bath: Uh huh..
Smoked?: Like duh! All the time
Bungee jumped?: Nope not yet
Made yourself throw up?: Yes when I have to
Skinnydipped?: Nope. Everything's illegal in S'pore
Ever been in love?: DUH
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: No.. I can't stand such ppl
Pictured your crush naked?: Haha
Actually seen your crush naked?: No?
Cried when someone died?: Yes..
Lied?: Yes. All the time. Ha!
Fallen for your best friend?: Fren yes, best fren no
Been rejected?: Not yet
Rejected someone?: Yes
Used someone?: Maybe
Done something you regret?: Nope
Current
Clothes: Work pants, Long sleeved top from Topshop
Music: Class 95 from colleague's radio
Smell: Gucci Envy
Favorite artists: Dunno la
Desktop picture: Azul-sun,sand & sea!
Dvd in player: Chocolat
Color of toenails: Not painted. Just varnish
Last person
You touched: For me to noe..
Hugged: The same person i touched. Haha
You kissed: Must i repeat myself...
Are you
Understanding: Yes. I hope so
Open-minded: To a certain extent
Arrogant: Not at all
Insecure: At times
Interesting: Nah.. im as boring as a person can get
Hungry: VERY
Smart: ALrite la
Moody: Sometimes
Hardworking: Only when needed
Organized: I guess so
Healthy: Not at all
Shy: Yes. Haha
Attractive: Not for me to say
Bored easily: Sometimes
Responsible: I try to be
Obsessed: No way
Angry: Sometimes
Sad: Depends
Disappointed: Now and then
Happy: Yes i guess.. but could be happier
Hyper: Hardly
Trusting: Most of the time
Talkative: Nope
Legal: Always. Yeah rite
Who do you wanna
Kill: No one
Slap: No one
Get high with: My imagination is starting to run wild..
Look like: Myself
Which is better
Coke or Pepsi: Neither
Flowers or candy: Candy! + Flowers. Lolx
Tall or short: Tall
Random
In the morning I am: Still sleepy, mostly.
All I need is: A break from work & lotsa love
Love is: A great feeling & endless emotions that keeps you on a high
I dream about: Having a good future
What do you notice first: Sincerity
Last person you danced with: My babez at Chinablack
Who makes you laugh the most: Lotsa ppl. Im blessed la
Who makes you smile: Same as above
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: Carson somehow. Dunno y
Who do you have a crush on: Define crush first
Who has a crush on you: How the hell would i noe
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Yes. Haha. It would be quite the experience
Wish you were younger: All the time!!!
Number Of times
I have had my heart broken: Oh well couple of times I guess
Of hearts I have broken: Can i not say...
Of continents I have lived in: Erm...
Of tight friends: Where are they tight? Haha. Ok i have many tight friends
Of cds I own: Dunno la
Of scars on body: I dun bother counting them

Asphyxiated at at 11:28 AM

a n g e r section
Do you have a quick temper?: Nope
What do you do when you are mad?: You dun wanna noe
What is the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: Prefer not to disclose
If you can take back time, would you have never done this?: No i guess. I dun rilly regret what i do
Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: Yup
Ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: No.. Maybe.. Haha! Sshhh..
Do you curse when you are mad?: All the time
c r y i n g section
When was the last time you really cried your heart out?: Ryan's wake
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yeah.. its no fun
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder? Yup. I love my frens!
Ever cried over the opposite sex? Yes
Do you cry when you get an injury? When i was young
Do certain songs make you cry? Yes but it depends on the situation as well
p a i n section
What's the hardest thing you'e ever had to go through? Death of loved ones
What's the worst thing you've done to yourself?: Dunno.. I dun think ive done anything rilly bad to myself
What's the worst thing you've done to somebody else?: Breakup wif someone who loved me alot (Im glad we r still close & u will oways haf a place in my heart)
Ever had a painful break up: Yes
How depressed can you get?: Pretty bad i guess. But it doesn't happen very often
Do you inflict pain on yourself?: No
h a p p y section
Are you normally a happy person?: Uh huh
What can make you happy?: Too many to mention
Do you wish you were happier?: Most certainly
What makes you the happiest?: Dunno.. Depends i guess
Is being happy overrated?: Sometimes
What about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: Definately!
Can music make you happy?: Yes
l o v e section
How many times have you had your heart broken:
Do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: Maybe
Did you ever love a guy, tell them that, and only got thanks as a reply?: Nope. I dun tell ppl i like them until i noe the feelings are mutual
Ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: Yup
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said i love you to you?: Yeah
Ever stopped a relationship because they didn't say i love you?: No. Nv happened before
h a t e section
Who do you actually hate?: Im too numb to think of anyone now
Ever made a hit list?: No. I have better things to do
Have you ever been on a hit list?: I wouldn't noe rite
Do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: No. I'll just take it as a learning process
Do you hate George Bush?: No.. he is non of my business
s e l f - e s t e e m section
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: No i guess
Do you believe in yourself?: Yup
When people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: I dun think im pretty
Are you one of those idiots that think they are ugly, dumb, and fat?: I am average looking, definately not dumb and im fat but i dun think im an idiot
Ever wanted to kill yourself because you thought you weren't good enough?: No *rolls eyes*
Are you happy with who you are?: Yes
Do you wish you can be someone else?: Not rilly

Asphyxiated at at 9:58 AM

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Im bored la.. actually i haf stuff to do.. but screw it.. i hate work.. here's from jerm's blog..

*Firsts
First best friend: Nicolli?
First car: Still waiting.. daddy's selling the jag i hear so i wun haf the chance to b mistaken as a kept woman if i drive it. haha
First self purchased album: i rilly cant rem..
First funeral: Uncle Philip's mum's i think
First pets: Pomeranian, fishes, tortises
First piercing/tattoo: Sec 1? Ears. Oh gosh my memory is rilly failing me
First credit card: still waiting.. soon i hope..
First true love: you gotta define true love first!
First enemy: cant rem who.. but i had lots!
First big trip: From wat i rem.. Tokyo Disneyland wif the whole gang- family, aunties, uncles, cousins, grandfolks etc!
First music you remember hearing in your house: ...... U tell me.. it was 10 years ago lor

*Lasts
Last cigarette: b4 i steped into office
Last car ride: this morning to work
Last kiss: Sunday
Last good cry: Ryan's wake last week
Last crush: dunno..
Last phone call: James Ashworth of ICRON Technologies to remind him about the seminar later
Last shoes worn: my comfy black heels
Last item bought: Lotsa candy from candy empire yesterdae
Last annoyance: can i not say... someone from the west la
Last time wanting to die: never?
Last time scolded: Its been a long time i guess.. i can't even take ppl being juz a little rude.. to scold me would incurr undesirable consequences

Asphyxiated at at 10:18 AM

Im still tired from Peiyi's wedding on sunday. It din help dat i din get to slp at all the nite b4. I was at Chinablack wif the girls til ard 3am and once i got home, i had to shower etc and it was time to leave the house cos i was aupposed to get to the bride's place by 630am. Called a cab cos it was raining & that on its own cost me a bomb. It din help that she was staying at the other end of the country.
Busy busy busy the entire day. When i finally got to sit down ard 11+am, i thot it was evening oready. Hardly got to eat anything either. It was pure madness. It din help that the poor bride is 4months preggers. Must haf been rilly tiring for her. Her 3 outfits werent exactly very light/ comfy/ cooling la. But it was fun being the 'sister' la. Anywae its not like it happens very often so its all cool. Me & Suleen were the pao-ka-liao girls. Run around wif her, help her change, take her outfits, answer fone calls etc. Luckily the groom had some cute frens there, who were not shy to make me down corden blue neat cup after cup. At least there were some eye candy despite being so busy & tired. Thank goodness Ah Hao sent me home after the drinks. I rilly needed it!

Asphyxiated at at 10:04 AM

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Did not go work yesterdae cos i wanted to attend Ryan's wake. It was the last day & it ends at 4pm so i couldn't go after work or something. I was fine when i got there but when i saw Ryan in the coffin & how bad he looked, it was rilly upsetting. I can imagine the amount of pain he went through. It din help dat he passed away only after 1 over hour in the hospital. Me & Jane were rilly quiet but we were fine until she asked if i was fine & dat was wen i couldn't take it anymore. Just had to cry a little i guess. Den some girl walked over & started talking & surprise surprise. It was that slut of a girl that tried to get fresh wif Ah Tian the other time. It was sucha turn off seeing her & the next thing she told me nearly caused me to flip. Without looking sad at all, she told me that the last person that was wif Ryan before his accident was her. Apparantly they were at her place drinking or something & the accident happended while he was riding home. I rilly dunno wat to tink.. but i feel it was rilly not worth it... Seeing Ah Toot din help either. Im sure he has been crying too.
Anyway, went Zouk for the hell of it dat nite. Maybe cos it was going to close for renovation, maybe cos there were quite alot of ppl gg.. i dunno y i went... but i juz did

Asphyxiated at at 3:54 PM

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I spent $60 on a piercing yesterdae. Yes i think i was too rash. No im not refering to the piercing. Im refering to the price i paid to do it. I could have done it myself for fuck sake. Just when im going thru a rough patch, some insensitive bastard calls & wants to 'talk', which i jolly well noe means 'argue' or 'push my limit'. Sorry man, im not in the mood. Screw you. If you rilly wanna talk about it, fine. Dun blame me if it ends up as the last conversation we ever have.

Asphyxiated at at 9:47 AM

Monday, September 12, 2005

I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T TELL

News of Ryan's death came as a rude shock. It took awhile to sink in i guess. Up to now, i dunno wat exactly happened. They say they dunno either. I guess i shall find out at the wake. I haven't seen him in quite awhile.. & when i do hear about him.. its definately nothing i wish to hear. Memories of Ryan is all good. He never failed to make me laugh. And now, there is one less person to make me smile.

Asphyxiated at at 10:36 AM

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Friday nite. BQ Bar. Thanks Sean for the beer. Good to see you after so long. You never fail to make me feel better whenever you are around even though you were oh so busy

Asphyxiated at at 3:48 PM

Friday, September 09, 2005

Past pic from Bangkok trip. This is one of the milder times in case u think it is considered terrible. We had a haze problem in our hotel room i swear. Cheap cigs & booze. We were living it up man. I think HK trip is gonna be something like that. Haha! Do we noe how to enjoy life or wat

Asphyxiated at at 4:00 PM

Had dinner at Carl's Jr yesterdae after work. Saw Mel & Karyn there. What a small world. It was a really satisfying dinner man. Full like hell but very shiok -YUMMERz- Today is casual friday. YAY! Everyone seems to be in a pretty good mood up til now. Hope it remains this way. I feel like gg clubbing sooooo badly.. But im pretty disorganised todae. Damn..

Asphyxiated at at 10:37 AM

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Someone questioned me last night. 'Why u take cab' 'You met XXX huh' 'Which area will u b at' 'Why nowadays you spend so much time with your friends' etc etc. Firstly, that person is not my BF. Secondly i hate being questioned. Nobody has any right to question me dat way. I've said it a million times before & i will say it again. I live my life the way i want. So stay out of it.
Chatted wif Sean Carson over the fone yesterdae. Its been too long. Got plenty to say & many other things to ask. But it was great nonetheless. Sorry i called you back so late. We'll catch up another time im sure.
Read Andrea's blog and found out about the educational trip thingy. I was rilly excited at first but i realised dat its during my burfday. I wanna spend my bdae in Singapore lor!!! And i can't attend the briefing & LO session cos i'll be in KL Sepang watching MotoGP.
Mel has moved. Back to Ah Hood Road. I thought it was rilly weird for some reason. Maybe cos my memories of that place was yonks ago & we were still so very young. I so hate the idea of her moving. I can't just walk out to meet her for a smoke anymore. Hell no. I would have to take an expensive cab ride just to do that. I feel pretty sad even though i'd probably see her almost every Sunday at Granny's. I dunno why.. maybe its cos i feel we are pretty close now and she has to shift. We weren't like dat all along. It was on and off sorta thing -sigh- Im sure we'll get used to it. But it would be better if she din have to move la...

Asphyxiated at at 4:35 PM

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

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I onLy thiNk of yOu oN 2 oCcaSioNs...
thAts Day & Night
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Asphyxiated at at 12:05 PM