Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I dunno why but now & then, i question myself about who my real friends are. I noe sometimes i just get into one of my lousy moods but then again, if there's nothing to justify how i feel, i wouldn't even be feeling that way right? Paranoia has a limit for me. I'm pretty rational most of the time.
I'm not gonna name names here, whether those people read my blog or not. I'm not here to pin-point & accuse people. I just wanna let off some steam. It's my blog anyways. Coming back to the topic proper, i was quite upset when someone did not turn up for a particular occasion when that person was told way before hand about it & he had even confirmed his attendance.
I do wonder what kind of friend you are. Am i supposed to call you only when i wanna go out & have fun? Do you call me when u wanna go out & have fun or when u need help?
There are so many instances i could name about what other things are bugging me but i'd rather not. I dun wanna worsen an oready deteriorating friendship. How you prioritise things is not within my control, and probably non of my concern, but just a gentle reminder that if in time u realise that u have lost a friend, dun point fingers at others, and dun feel sore, for it may have been your own doing all this while but maybe u were just too caught up in ur own world to have noticed.
I'm sure im not the only one that feels that way. Some people have oready washed their hands off u. Dun take ur friends for granted for i can see clearly who are worthy of my time & care. True frens are the ones that will stick wif u for a long long time to come & they are the ones you'll fall back on when shit happens. When it comes to a point when u realise that u dun have real frens, i dun wanna be the one to tell u 'I told u so'.
I oways set aside time for my frens. Some people think just bcos i'm attached means i dun have time for them. All i can say is u dun noe me that well, do u? If u never asked me out & u assume that i'm not free, i guess u r just finding an excuse for urself.
Nevertheless, there are those frens who have stuck by me for years & years & i'm so thankful for them. Unpretentious & oways there when i need them. I'm so tempted to give them credit here but i guess listing names would only narrow down the field of finding out who is the 'chief suspect'.
I wanna note that i'm not specifically picking on a particular person. Its just a very general thought that i find disturbing. Many people are gonna speculate about who i'm talking about, some may even think i'm talking about themselves. All i can say is that i'm not gonna give any answers & if u can even suspect that im referring to yourself, maybe its time to reflect on what kind of a fren r u?
Asphyxiated at at 1:00 AM
