Thursday, June 21, 2007
OMG I’m so tired today. Need I explain why? Guess not. But surprisingly, I managed to wake up on time, which is good.
HAPPY BITHDAY DANNY BOY!One year older, hope you are one year wiser too. I will never forget the first time I got drunk. Thanks to you and you alone. 3 years later and I’m still looking forward to seeking some revenge. Guess I’ll have to leave that for another time when I gather some partners in crime for I alone can never out-drink you. What a bummer.
Soon, it’s gonna be the end of another work week. YAY! I love the weekends. But it’s oways too short. *sigh*
The other day while chatting with Chixy online, we realized how different our lives have turned out from what we ‘wanted’ when we were younger. Both of us had hoped to get married in our mid-20s and have a kid afew years after that.
But look at us now. We are nowhere getting married and having kids is out of the question. Haha. I guess when you are younger, the magnitude of starting a family doesn’t hit you. Money issues were never a real problem unless it came to buying that coveted bag at the stores. But when you get older & you realize that getting hitched isn’t just about signing a piece of paper (of cos that’s possible too but ideally not), and you start counting the cost of everything from the ring, to the house, to the car, to the wedding itself & all the works, then you’ll think to youself “of shit, I need a lot more time & scrimping & saving to get married”. And then everything drags on.
I think the closest I got to getting married was with the ex. He loved me a lot despite our differences and he had oready saved up a substantial sum for us to get married. I knew he’d make a good husband & a good father BUT I felt that our differences were too big to ignore & I didn’t love him anymore. I guess that was something that made me torn whether to hang on or not. I chose to let him go and I still don’t regret it.
I guess I needed a better balance. Someone which could give me both emotional & financial stability. But in life, some things happen in the weirdest ways. Even though my current situation is a little different from what I had expected, but at least I’m happy and I guess that’s important. I’m moving towards what I wanted, no doubt it’s a little behind schedule, but it’s moving. Slowly, but surely.
Over the years I’ve learnt to be contented with what I have, and I admit, I do settle for less, which is why friends oways make a hoo-haa over some of the guys I date. But I oways take their ‘you deserve better’ talk with a pinch of salt.
But to me, I am really patient in giving guys time to prove themselves. I gave the ex 4 over years for goodness sake. But if you don’t deliver, after all that time, I will leave. I guess there’s a limit to everyone’s patience eh.
It’s a good thing not many of my friends are married yet. So I’m not getting too paranoid thus far. Right now, I’m content with being in a stable relationship, knowing that both parties are serious about each other.
I remember the late nite talks me & my girls used to have about at what age we’d want to get married, complete with what kinda car, and what kinda house, and what kinda pet, and that our husbands would get along with each other so we can oways meet up. Haha. What we want is not necessarily what we get but I’m glad all of us are doing great now and yes, we still day-dream & talk about what is our kind of ‘perfect’ life when we meet up.
I think we don’t take ourselves too seriously, as much as it is what we really wish to have, which is why these talks & thoughts are oways a little bittersweet, but it never makes us feel awful about our current situation.
Okok, this is like a bloody essay. But so what? I am embracing my free time & this is my blog after all. Haha.
I just heard the dumbest thing ever. Some people simply have too much time on their hands. *yawnz*
Asphyxiated at at 4:11 PM
