Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I kinda had an inkling for sometime due to little gestures along the way but what happened today really took me by surprise. I’ll update the rest of you in private. I hope it’s just my imagination running wild if not this is just getting too scandalous. Haha. Now all the more you kaypohs out there wanna know what’s happening right?
Anyhoos, today there’s only a grand total of 3 people in the office & the bitch is making a hell loada noise whining to the remaining guy about i-dunno-what. Her voice gets on my nerves. Thank goodness I’m kinda ‘isolated’.
Took a bus back to the east yesterday with Chixy & there was this horrible gay guy on the bus. He looks ok but the things he does is like a bitchy aunty on weed. His actions are so exaggerated I wanted to slap him. Chixy snapped a pic of him & after that she imitated the way he flags for the bus. It’s super LOL can. Piangz..
Disclaimer: I have nothing against gay people. Both guys & girls. Everyone knows that. But this one was one hellavu bitchy guy. Urgh.
Anyway, we met Jane & we went for ban mian. Yay! Don’t ask me why we oways say ‘lets go eat ban mian’ when all we eat there is thick bee hoon in tom yum soup. It’s just a habit lah. It’s just like how I oways call Indian rojak ‘begedil’. Haha. I know it’s like damn different but it’s just a habit lah.
After dinner, we went to do our nails at Parkway and we shopped around until all the shops closed then we went to Giant. And we bought groceries. We are like super aunties. We go mad at supermarkets. Jane was saying if only we shared a place together. I told her if that happens, our grocery bills would amount to more than anything else. Haha. We are so horrible. But let I guess we are just doing our part for our nation’s economy right? Ha.
Shifting house/ not driving is a real bitch. So Chixy and I shared a cab home. I know we stay so damn near BUT we were carrying groceries you see. Yeah. Excuses, excuses. When I got home, mummy asked how come I didn’t come back after work to take the car –faints- She is such a cock-up. Over the phone yesterday afternoon, she told me she’ll use the car cos she wanted to go out for dinner so I said ok nvm and then when I get home she said she went early to buy dinner so that I can use the car. Oh well. I appreciate the thought but we oready came to the conclusion that I’m not taking the car mah..
Did I mention I’m in a surprisingly good mood today? Well at least up til now lah. I have no idea why cos time is c-r-a-w-l-i-n-g.
The stupid bitch over-watered my plant. I’m pissed cos that has caused my plant to start dying. Why can’t she find other things to do instead of messing around with insignificant stuff & screwing it up?!
Ok that was random.
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An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.
Consul: What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,...isn't it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul: Oh...dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!
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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men
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A soldier came to a bend in the road and saw a nun standing there. Out of breath he asked, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I'll explain WHY later."
The nun agreed.
A moment later two Military Police came running along and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier running by here?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MP's disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see -- I don't want to go to Iraq .
The nun said, "I think I can fully understand your fear."
The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either."
Asphyxiated at at 11:12 AM
