Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Yesterday me & my bitches finally got to eat our ban mian after the few months the food court closed. It was shiok weather to eat that but the standard has dropped somewhat. *sigh* The food court seems to have shrunk to less than half it’s original size and the big TV is gone! Went to Parkway to walk after that and we ended up having dessert before going home.
I am so tired today. I think I didn’t have enuff sleep.. Maybe I should be a good girl and not go out tonite. But even if I don’t go out, I know I’ll end up sleeping late again *haix*
Received a private email this morning. Sounds sneaky, but I hope it’s in a good way. Can’t wait for tml when the mystery unravels!
Coming Sat is Yuan’s birthday! Selamat Hari Raya Yuan Yuan! Haha. Kailing is flying off to Japan tml *sob sob* We can’t have full attendance for Yuan’s birthday oready. As punishment, Kailing better buy something nice back for us. Hahaha. Kidding lah. It feels like such a long time since I last met up with my darlings. I miss them so much lah. But what to do? Everyone has such different careers/lifestyles. I think I’m the most ‘eng’ of the lot oready.
I’m trying desperately to clear my HP msgs and now my hand is sore and aching.. As of now, I have managed to clear 1000 msgs. Hope there’s not much more to go.. It’s kinda like a chore cos it’s so tedious but going thru the messages one by one really brings back some memories..
Chixy came down to lunch with me. Duck & Siew Yok rice! I’m pretty happy at work today cos there’s hardly anyone around –beams-. I’ve ran out of books to read. Brought Digital Fortress today. Read it oready but I really like the book so I shall read it again.
Certain things have crossed my mind recently. I dunno where such thots stem from, but before you know it, you start to think about some things more in-depth. I think it’s the emo chick-lit I’ve been reading at work. Haha.
One of the things I was thinking about is I wonder how it’ll be like to hear people talk about me, except it’s not me they are talking to. You know like how people say after they die, they wanna see who comes to their funeral and what they have to say about the deceased? Something like that. To hear an honest opinion about what they feel about you, which they will never tell you cos it’s just kinda different, but which their friends have a clearer picture of. What do they tell other people about you? Is it good things? Is it bad things? Is it the truth? Is it a lie? Or there may be things we dun even know about because along the way in the past, we kinda crossed that stage which we never shared those vital thoughts?
Some things in the past still leave me with question marks. But as much as I wonder about it, maybe it’s not meant for me to know. But maybe there’s some misunderstanding which caused things to happen the way it did? It would feel like a waste won’t it? But then again maybe it happened for a reason?
A couple of years back, something happened which caught me off guard and left me lost, upset & confused. Just because I got over it doesn’t mean I fully understood what had happened. I think I more or less kinda got an explanation in the end, by how accurate it was, I will never know. Too many things have happened and some things just didn’t seem to gel together, which is why up to today, I’m highly skeptical I guess. I think I prefer brute honesty than a game of cat & mouse.
But that’s been over so long. It doesn’t affect me that much anymore, but sometimes when it does cross my mind, I feel that there are still a lot of unanswered questions shrouding it. It may be a good lesson we learn in life, but it may also be something which caused you to subconsciously change the way you look at others. I think I’ve become a more guarded person, but whether that’s good or bad, I dunno.
Asphyxiated at at 2:33 PM
